Things we love:
squares
hot things
crunchy things
sweet plus savory
things with nooks

So, when National Waffle Day arrived on August 24th we were ready. Although we were physically apart, our hearts were together as tiny waffles. Dawn and Lauren got their waffle on in NYC at Wafels and Dinges. The Wafels and Dinges truck is magical Belgian place. They move around NYC on a daily basis and offer a selection of Belgian waffles with a variety of toppings aka dinges.

Lauren went for a bacon and syrup waffle:

Dawn had a Leige Waffle with the MOST DELICIOUS Speculoos Spread:

Somewhere at a Ben & Jerry’s in NJ Anne used the waffle as an ice cream blanket otherwise known as a Waffle Cone!!

We’re crazy for waffles…

We’re CRAZY for waffles…

CRAZY FOR WAFFLES!!!!!

Sometimes food is so good you hate it. You hate it so much and you don’t ever want to stop eating it. That’s how Dawn and Anne felt when they went to Get Fresh Table and Market in Park Slope, Brooklyn. Get Fresh offers a variety of all local, organic ingredients on their seasonal menu. Needless-to-say, it's pretty fresh and tasty delicious.

So, these women of class who normally exhibit nothing less than proper manners were quite taken aback by the delicious food making them completely revert back to 13 year olds. Anne and Dawn GOT FRESH.

Ugh. So Dawn and Anne totally decided to ditch Marielena and Lauren and go to brunch without them. Double-You Tee Eff.  Of course, Dawn was late, so Anne was left there to fend for herself for 10 minutes. SO EMBARRASSING. Oh. Em. Gee. The waitress came over with a friendly face and greeting but Anne just put her hand up and was all, “Get me an iced mint tea and get it like yesterday.” And she let out a heavy, heavy sigh of discontent, and went back to applying her black fingernail polish. Thankfully, the tea was amazingly delicious with a hint of chamomile to calm her preteen raging hormones.

Dawn finally arrived was all, “Eff. My ‘rents found out that I stole money from them to buy new silly bandz. They are so P-Oed! Whatevs.” She stopped the Justin Bieber song on her iPod and sat down and stuff. The friendly waitress popped up again, clearly confused as to why we were wearing matching Hannah Montana baby tees. Then, Dawn ordered a fresh cantaloupe juice; she’s totally going through an experimental phase. The juice was sweet, crisp and went down easy, like Linda. She’s such a ho-bag.

The waitress hooked us up with a whole loaf of banana bread (which normally comes out in a few slices), because she knew better than to eff with us. The bread was a warm invite into deliciousland with the butter sweet and salty, seasoned with nutmeg that complimented the banana as what can be described as totally effing good. The banana bread did not stand a chance against our hungry mouths and watering taste buds. We were all, “Eff you banana bread! Stop staring at me because I’m gonna eat your face off!” And we did. We were all, “FACE.” And just ate that whimpering little jerk. Eff him.

We were so hungry, angry, angsty, and ready to eat some more effing food.  We decided to have a staring contest to kill some time before the rest of our food came out of the kitchen.  Neither of us blinked. We are that hardcore. Anne’s eyes started watering making her black eyeliner run, but luckily (for her) the food came out before things got ugly. Dawn is the longstanding champion of homeroom staring contests. What was Anne even thinking?

The waitress put the food down and we were all, “Eff. This looks so dang good. We are gonna destroy this like Edward Cullen destroyed Victoria in Eclipse.”

Anne’s cardamom-spiced Turkey Burger was effing huge and served with some banging gruyere cheese and homemade potato chips all drizzled with this fan-effing-tastic balsamic reduction sauce. Fareals. It was redonkulous. The waitress hooked her up with some tomatillos that were pickled in juices spiced with cinnamon, cardamom, and orange (among a few other choice spices). Eff.

Dawn’s truffled scrambled eggs were off the hizzy. She was all, “What’s the dilly-o! This is some crazy shizz.” The eggs were bedded on crispy potatoes and fresh arugula – all this was drizzled with the same reduction sauce. She also got some Berkshire pork bacon, because that’s how she rolls.

The waitress came over and asked if we wanted anything else and we were all...

We were both so full that we could barely move. Anne was totally worried, “I hope my prom dress still fits!” Dawn was like, “Bitch, please. It’s just brunch. Chillax.”

Get Fresh Table and Market
370 5th Avenue
Brooklyn, NY 11215
(718) 360-8469

I Fork New York recently had the distinct pleasure and dubious honor of attending a super special dinner held by Chef Dave “I’m not your bitch, bitch” Martin. Yes, you read that correctly. Season One "Top Chef" finalist Dave Martin welcomed us into his home (and hearts - aww sweet!) recently and cooked up some culinary delights! We were beyond excited to be invited to his home (with a breathtaking view) in quaint Long Island City, NY.

Since "Top Chef", Chef Dave has been working hard and wearing many, many hats. Currently, he’s spending his time teaching at the The Culinary Loft in Soho and the French Culinary Institute, also in Soho. In addition, Chef Dave has been traveling the country doing demonstrations and working with several wineries on creating tastings. He ALSO wrote a cook book and is coming out with a second one in the fall. AND he spends a lot of his time doing charity work. How did he fit us in!?!?

(You can read all about Chef Dave’s current projects on his gorgeous website).

Chef Dave prepared an amazing four course meal for us. We couldn’t contain our excitement when he sent us the menu a few short hours before our dining experience. We started off with some Pan Seared Scallops served with a savory vanilla bean cream (!!!) and drizzled with smoked tomato butter (!!!). Helloooooo decadence!

We wanted to make this post extra special because it involved such a well-known and talented chef, so we decided to spice things up a bit with some videos! Woot! We have to level with you, though, we are not great film makers. Since this was our first foray into making I Fork videos, we kiiiiiinda dropped the ball a little. We definitely have to remember to film BEFORE we eat the food, so our first course was unfortunately not filmed. Sad face! BUT we do have a fancy picture!

Next, Chef served up a Tenderloin Martini, which consisted of seasoned beef tenderloin atop Yukon Gold and Carrot Mashers drizzled with an Asian ginger pan sauce. Oh lordy lordy!

Ah, Meat and Martinis: the age old tradition that has been conceiving children out of wedlock for decades. I Fork didn't get pregnant at dinner cause our meat was of the delicious steak variety:

Following that mouthwatering dish, we were treated with Wild Striped Bass pan roasted and glazed with roasted garlic butter with roasted summer vegetables. He was NOT holding back.

Now slap that bass (the fish, not the instrument) and slap it right down on my plate please. Chef Dave gives us his professional tips on how to cook vegetables and what to do if you’re “skin skeevey”:

AND last, but certainly not least, Chef Dave really amped things up with his “Best” Warm Chocolate Truffle Cake with a Port cinnamon orange reduction served with fresh berries and Chantilly cream. Yeah. We ate that.

Shakespeare actually stopped by L.I.C. recently and tried this delight. It prompted him to rewrite “Romeo and Juliet.” It is now called “Chocolate Truffle Cake and Juliet”  - and this time it is no tragedy. The Monagues and Capulets end their years of bitter fighting when they bond over this delicious dessert at Tybalt’s funeral. Juliet declares, “A cake by any other name would taste as sweet.”

You can find the instructional video that Chef Dave talks about by clicking this link.

All-in-all the evening was fantastic. We ate delicious food, laughed a lot, and had the pleasure of being fed and entertained by one amazing chef.

Look how cute we all are!

The food was so good, in fact, that Anne did actually end up publicly dropping her pants and gazing off into the distance. We think she was contemplating her life, and what it meant before the delectable meal we all just consumed.

Laaaaddiiiiieeeesss and Gentlemen! Welcome to the maaaaaiiiin event! This past Tuesday (daayy dayyy dayyy) the Trophy Bar in Williamsburg (burg buuurg buuurg) held a tasting event featuring Asia Dog (og oooggg ooggg). It was a $25 cover for all you can eat Asia Dogs and all you can drink draft beers. YES. This was more epic than a monster truck rally with all the Harlem Globetrotters on their way to a WWE match. Let’s get ready to RUM-BBBLLLLEEE!

In order to be in tip-top shape for the event, we trained, and we trained hard. Marielena did so many sit-ups that she did, in fact, do her laundry on her stomach. Anne did so many pull-ups that she was mistaken for Popeye “The Sailor Man” on no less than 5 occasions. We could go on to describe the result of Lauren’s and Dawn’s training, but just know this: redacted NINJAS redacted FIVE POINT EXPLODING HEART TECHNIQUE. Needless to say, we really haven’t seen too much of them lately. At least not in the daylight.

(Now envision a montage of I Fork ladies training around notable sites in New York City - progressively getting better and better, set to the Kenny Loggins classic, “Danger Zone”)***

***We recommend that you play the songs as you read the post to enhance your reading experience…aka to rock your face off!

And so, we were finally ready. Ready to eat as many Asian topped hot dogs we could possibly get our hands on.

We entered the bar and scoped the scene. Dawn took a big sniff of the air and said, “Kimchi - back there.” She knew exactly where to start. We grabbed some beers at the bar and swaggered in slow motion to the garden in the back where the hot dogs were being grilled up. The air smelled of grilled dogs, toasted buns and fear. The line for the dogs wrapped around the entire patio, so we started to take our place at the end when out of nowhere, Lauren cartwheeled out of a bush and into line. That ninja training was starting to pay off!

We had to strategize our next move. We could only get two dogs per lady, and there were 7 different dogs on the menu and we needed to have them all. Marielena and Dawn went back inside to hold down some seats on the banquette. They pledged to roundhouse kick anyone who got too close. Several minutes later Lauren and Anne emerged victorious with 4 power-pumping Asia dogs and some jubilant high fives.
 
(cue “You’re the Best Around” from the Karate Kid - the ORIGINAL with Miyagi!)

BEHOLD YOUR STARTING LINEUP!

The WangDing: Chinese BBQ pork belly, cucumber and scallions. This was our favorite dog. In fact we had a few of these bad boys. We don’t know who came up with the idea of tag teaming pork belly with hot dogs, but that person deserves a medal. A hot dog medal.

The Mash: Spicy ketchup, jalapeño mustard and crushed potato chips. The most American and traditional of the dogs, the combo blended your usual Memorial Day picnic basket all into one dog, but just as we took our initial first bite and smiled, filled with that familiar hot dog nostalgia, that spicy ketchup and jalapeño mustard attacked. They kicked us right in the taste buds! Ooh doggies! hot hot hot hot hot dog.

At this point in the evening it was time for the seventh inning stretch. Dawn pulled out her boombox and played some stretching music (“Eye of the Tiger”, natch). Lauren did several reps of double-fisted beer lifting. Anne repainted the black glare strips underneath her eyes, and Marielena did a few sets of power-flirting with one hand tied behind her back with the ref, aka the bartender.

But now it was time to get back in the game. The I Fork gallies were in it to win it and there were still three dogs left on the bench. “Let us in coaches!” they seemed to say.

After an inspirational pep talk from Lauren and Anne (“If you can dream it, you can do it! Laces out! Aim for the stands!”) Marielena and Dawn headed back out to the patio for Round Two. They thought the game would be called off due to the tinkly drizzle, but Lauren, cheerleader extraordinaire, somersaulted over the crowd with an umbrella. The awesome Asia Dog representatives actually went out and brought a tent to put over the patio thus keeping the morale high and our designer soccer cleats dry. What?!! How nice!

They came back to the table with:

The Vinh: a Banh mi style dawg with Páte, spicy aioli, cucumber and pickled carrots, daikon, cilantro and jalapeño. Crunchy and divine. We’re gonna be honest, the Vinh was a worthy component. Classic and classy until the end. This round was a “No Penalty” round thanks to the pristine technique this banh mi styled dog brought to the field. We could have eaten a sack of these bad boys. But we didn’t because, y’know, we’d barf. But it would be totally WORTH IT.

Once a year something amazing happens in New York City. Something happens that makes people do crazy things. Makes people yearn for smoked meats so much that they'll do just about anything. They'll wait in long lines. They'll bear the heat and humidity of a sticky June afternoon. They'll push down small children in an attempt to get closer to the meat. They'll even sell their own limbs for a small taste. A taste of some of the most delicious, smoky, mouthwatering barbecue they have ever tasted.

Once a year, the Big Apple BBQ comes to town.

Not all the I Fork ladies were around during this majestic weekend of meaty treats, so Anne and Dawn took it upon themselves to brave the crowds and heat to get that taste of heaven. We arrived at the Big Apple BBQ and were welcomed by a big sign, "Welcome 'Cue Lovers!" It felt like a warm embrace.

Now, to be honest, the two of us are a very mismatched pair. Dawn is tall, leggy and blond. Anne is short, nerdy and wild. Dawn often says things that never make it to Anne's ears, because she's so far away from her voice box. Anne often hurts her neck while trying to have a conversation with Dawn, because she has to crane her head to talk. BUT we sure do know how to have a good time.

The Big Apple BBQ brings some of the best BBQ restaurants from around the country to NYC. We decided to target places outside of New York. We love you Dinosaur BBQ, Blue Smoke and Hill Country, but we wanted to stick to those delicious southern joints that only come to New York for this special occasion.

First on the agenda was Jim n' Nick's Bar B-Q, all the way from Birmingham, Alabama. Their item du jour was "Homemade Smoked Sausage with Pimento Cheese and Saltines." What?!? We sidled up to the booth and promptly ordered two. The gentleman behind the counter looked at Dawn with suspicion, "Wow, two servings for just you - you must be hungry." At this moment Anne stood on her toes so she could see the man over the counter. "Oh, I didn't see your daughter down there." With that he handed us the goods and we pushed some people off a nearby picnic bench and dug in.

The spicy and juicy sausage was in a snappy casing topped with a sweet, spicy sauce. It was paired with a dollop of pimento cheese which at first appearance seemed to be a Midwestern casserole-like creation (Dawn felt like she was home again in the plains of Nebraska), however, it revealed itself to be a thick concoction comprised of sharp cheddar and pimento with a tang of what might have been mayo. This was served with fresh jalapeno slices and saltines. The saltines seemed like an outsider in the dish - the last to be picked for the team - the girl with headgear and a back brace - the skinny kid who looked like he could be blown over by a gust of moderately strong wind. But because we are ladies, we follow instructions. We did as the helpful Jim n' Nick's postcard showed us and assembled the ingredients one a top the other in a towering, totem pole of salty, spicy, cheesy, meaty goodness. Oh boy, were we happy to have followed these important instructions!

Newly fortified with delicious meat, we marched on. Anne chatted with some toddlers who were at her eye level. In the distance, Dawn saw a man as tall as she. He was a combination of Santa Claus and a Hell's Angel. She was intrigued. As Dawn and Anne got closer, it became clear he was the pit master of one of the busiest booths in the whole festival. Yes - he was Pappy, the Pappy of Pappy's Smokehouse in St. Louis. Pappy was a sort of celebrity in this crowd. Dawn and Anne swooned at his mere appearance and level of authority, so they pushed many innocent people aside to get this photo:

At first we weren't sure if we wanted to wait in the caterpillar-like line, the longest line in all the festival, but we knew if so many normally impatient New Yorkers were willing to do so, it must be worth it. And OH...it was. Pappy's was serving up some intense ribs and baked beans.

These ribs were not messing around. They were peppery with a hint of smokiness, covered in a sweet, tangy barbecue sauce. The sauce infused itself in the meat resulting in a delicious, quasi-caramelized skin. The meat was tender - not "fall off the bone" tender - but "sink your teeth into it rrrrroar meaty goodness." The ribs were accompanied by a small portion of baked beans - understated yet with the perfect amount of sweetness and keenly influenced by the pork.

By this point, we were getting pretty full, but would that stop us from consuming more meat? Nope. It was time for the hog. THE whole hog. We came upon a North Carolina expat, "Ed Mitchell - The Pit." Upon approaching we saw two burly men furiously pulverizing whole pigs, creating a mountain of meat. This was serious stuff - not for the faint of heart or for anyone who went through a vegetarian phase in junior high. Behind the pulverization station were 6 giant smoking pits roasting whole pigs. Wowsers. The line was short and swift moving and after receiving a hearty helping of chopped up pig on a potato roll with a scoop of coleslaw, we parked it in the park.

We were a bit weary that there was no sauce and based on appearance thought this pig might be bland and dry - but oh oh oh oh oh - were we surprised. This was some of the smokiest, juiciest meat of the day, of the year, of our lifetimes. It tasted exactly as smoky as the pits smelled - extremely smoky, don't mess with me smoky, back off or I'll give you lung cancer smoky. The juiciness was such that we would never dream of corrupting it with sauce. Had we done so, those pigs would have died in vain. The coleslaw was crisp, fresh, sweet and tangy - a perfect balance to the peppery kick of the pork. And, by the way, Anne would like you to know that BBQ should only be eaten on potato rolls. That is her firm, religious belief.

At this point in the afternoon, things got hazy. Anne and Dawn entered into what can only be described as a meat coma.

After passing out for what might have been hours, days, months, they awoke and remained in a meat-induced hallucinatory state. Anne started flirting with this statue:

She swears it was talking back to her. SWEARS. And Dawn kept trying to send texts to Pappy on this giant phone.

Needless to say, the annual Big Apple BBQ exceeded expectations. These two I Fork gallies got their fill of some of the tastiest BBQ in the country and learned that it might be for the best that this event only happens once a year. More than that simply could not be handled.

Hey there busy bee! Quit buzzing around crazy and allow me to drop some science on you. As you've probably figured out, summer is upon us, and while most fancies will be absconding to beachy ports unknown, you and I and most real people are stuck in the city and are dying for a vaycay. Who among us couldn't use a little R&R these days, right? Right. Well, if you're anything like me, you're probably brizzoke after spending all your hard earned ducats on some tasty cocktail frocks (I get invited to a lot of parties, okay?) and personal grooming (one has to look her best at said parties, n'est pas?). Or is it a case of overwork-its? Gurl, tell me about it. If Mr. Caruthers asks me to come in on a weekend one more time, I'm gonna poison his coffee 9 to 5 style.

So here are some quick fixes for the bummertime blues (see what I did there?):

Most of us, myself included, would simply love a chance to partake in the healing waters of Baden Baden.